BROKEN: Desires (Homosexuality)

[Read Romans 1:18-32]

Something I’m learning as I grow older and get some more life experience, is that often we don’t see things as clearly as we think we do. I’ve encountered this numerous times as I’ve done marital or premarital counseling. One spouse will explain to me “the way things are” and then the next spouse will describe a very different picture. Most likely, neither of them are seeing things as accurately as they think. 

There have been times throughout my life when someone has corrected me for handling a situation poorly. One time someone corrected me for being too aggressive and sounding angry. I was completely shocked because I thought I was being gentle and calm but firm in the circumstance. Which one of us was seeing the situation properly? It’s a hard question to answer, really, because I could be seeing it wrongly or the other person could be seeing it wrongly. 

My point in all of this is to remind us that we are often self-deceived. My point is NOT that we should go through life pointing our finger at other people, calling them self-deceived, but repeatedly pointing the finger at ourselves and asking, “Am I being self-deceived?” Another way of saying this is, “Am I being willfully blind?” And, as much as we don’t like to admit this, often we are willfully blind. 

This is laid out pretty clearly in our passage this morning. We read this striking statement: “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.” (Romans 1:18, ESV). That’s pretty powerful stuff. This passage is saying that the world is full of people who are ungodly and unrighteous and they are not this way because of ignorance. They are ungodly and unrighteous because they are suppressing the truth—they are willfully trying to hide the truth under the rug. They are willfully blind to the reality of God’s created world. 

The passage explains this by saying, “For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” (Romans 1:19–20, ESV). God created the world in such a way that it was obvious that He created it. He has made it clear and plain for everyone to see—especially his eternal power and divine nature. Everyone who has ever lived on the earth has clearly been able to see these attributes of God, which means anyone who says they can’t see these attributes is suppressing the truth. Or, to say it another way, they are  sticking their fingers in their ears, covering their eyes with a blindfold, and yelling, “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you. I can’t see you.” They are willfully blind.

This means that everyone who has ever been born is without excuse. They cannot claim ignorance before God. They cannot say they didn’t know. They cannot say they didn’t see. God has made it so clear that if they can’t see it, they are covering their eyes and ears. They are guilty of suppressing the truth and rebelling against the Creator God. 

And when that happens, things go very poorly. We read, “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him…and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.” (Romans 1:21–23, ESV). So, it says they knew God and could see God in creation, but they didn’t honor Him as God or give thanks to Him as God or glorify Him as God. Rather, they began to worship idols that resembled the things God created—idols that looked like humans and birds and animals and creeping things. They chose to worship these created things, rather than the Creator of those things. How foolish!

That’s why we also read, “…they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools…” (Romans 1:21–23, ESV). Do foolish things, get foolish prizes. Yet, they thought what they were doing was wise. They boasted their wisdom to everyone around them: “Look how wise we are!” But the reality is they were becoming fools. Theire hearts were darkening. Their thinking was becoming more futile. 

I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but this is what happens when we worship idols. We become what we worship. So, when we worship idols, we become like those idols. When we worship created things that can’t speak or talk or think or feel, we slowly lose our ability to do those things as well. Our hearts become darkened and we become futile in our thinking and we become fools. 

Then we read this disturbing statement: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.” (Romans 1:24–25, ESV). It’s almost as if God says, “Fine. Have it your way. You want to suppress the truth and reject me. I’ll let you do it. See how that works out for you.” It’s kinda like the parent who repeatedly tells their child to stop doing something, and the child continues to try to do that thing, so the parent says, “Go ahead. Do it. You’ll get hurt but maybe you’ll learn an important lesson.” That’s what God is doing here. He’s giving them up to their foolishness so that they may learn an important lesson: Foolishness and rejecting God never ends well. 

Notice what God gives them up to. First it says, “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts…” (Romans 1:24, ESV) then it says, “Therefore God gave them up…to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves…” (Romans 1:24–25, ESV). Notice the three things mentioned here are the three things I’ve repeatedly mentioned throughout this series. We’ve been created with desires, now God has given them up in the lusts of their heart. We’ve been created Body and Soul, now God has given them up to the dishonoring of their bodies. We’ve been created for relationship, now God has given them up to dishonoring their bodies among themselves. Each of these areas has been turned over by God because they rejected Him, suppressed His truth in the world, and have tried to embrace a lie and live by that lie. And in doing this, they have walked away from the way God created them to live. 

And then, our passage gives us a clear example of this happening in the world. He says, “For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” (Romans 1:26–27, ESV). And here’s the main point: If you reject the God who created nature, you will eventually reject nature itself. And the clear example of this rejection in the world is homosexual activity because it is clearly outside the bounds of God’s created design. As we read earlier in this passage, God has made this very clear in creation. He has clearly created men and women in such a way that they would desire one another, fit together, and be fruitful. That’s absolutely clear from creation and any rejection of that design is clearly a suppression of the truth and a rejection of the One who designed and created the world. 

Now, there’s a distinction we need to make when we talk about homosexuality. It’s a distinction I was making last week and, to be honest, it’s a distinction I try to make whenever I talk about any sin. The distinction is between embracing a sin or struggling with a sin. That’s an extremely important distinction and needs to shape the way we talk to people. Are they embracing their homosexual desires or struggling with their homosexual desires? 

We need to realize there are people who will struggle with homosexual desire their entire life. I have very close friends who have been struggling with these desires for a long time. They have not embraced these desires because they know they are contrary to God’s design. They have tried multiple conversion therapies with no success. They have struggled and struggled and struggled to change their desires and it hasn’t happened. They will most likely struggle with these desires their entire life—like many addicts. They also need our love and support to live the life God has called them to live. They do not need to be rebuked because they are fighting with their desires by the Spirit. Rather they need our friendship and support and encouragement. 

Our passage is talking about those who embrace their homosexual desires. When people embrace their homosexual desires, live them out, and say this is completely natural—it is a clear suppression of the truth and a rejection of God and his design. We must treat this situation differently. 

We’re reminded that we cannot approve of their lifestyle. We read, “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” (Romans 1:28–32, ESV). 

This list of sins describes the state of humanity apart from Christ. It’s a mess. There are sins and sinners everywhere. And, let me be clear, this passage isn’t saying that homosexual desire and activity is necessarily worse than any of these others sins. It is saying that it’s the clearest example of suppressing the truth and rejecting God, but it’s not saying it’s any worse. 

And, as is the case with any sin, Christians must never participate in those sins OR approve of those sins. So, when we’re taught that embracing homosexual desires is suppressing the truth and rejecting God and degrading the glory of God in the world, it’s not enough for us to stay away from that lifestyle, we must not approve of that lifestyle. This passage is even written in such a way as to point to the seriousness of approving of these sinful actions. It’s almost as if it said, “It’s so bad that they are not just doing them, but they are even approving of these things.” So, approving of these things is just as bad—or even worse—than simply doing them. 

So, for those who have embraced their homosexual desires, and are living them out in the world, and acting as if they are “natural,” we must speak the truth in love. Just like I said last week—and every week before this one—we must walk alongside, support, carry burdens, and point them to the truth because we love them and don’t want them living in a way that will destroy them. We want them to move from embracing these desires to struggling against them and we can help them by committing ourselves to walking alongside them in this struggle. 

And, for those who have not embraced their homosexual desire, and are struggling against these desires, we really need to walk alongside them and support them as best as we can. They have a long, difficult calling in front of them. Yes, there will be some like Rosaria Butterfield who are delivered from these desires, marry, and have children—and that’s a glorious thing. However, there are others who will struggle their whole life and will have to commit themselves to celibacy for the rest of their life. That’s not an easy calling and we need to be right there with them to support them and encourage them in that difficult calling. We must bear their burdens with them. 

This is the calling of every Christian. Every single one of us has desires that are contrary to God’s design and desires—every one of us. And, to a certain degree, every single one of us will struggle with some of these desires for the rest of our life. We all have one aspect of our life that we struggle with over and over and over again. Yet, we must never allow ourselves to be defined by our struggles or desires. My friends who struggle with homosexual desires have told me, “I don’t want to be called gay or a homosexual. That’s not who I am. I am a Christian and I struggle with homosexual desire.” 

That’s a powerful truth for each of us to grasp this morning. Don’t embrace your struggles and sinful desires and don’t allow yourself to be defined by your struggles or your sinful desires. When you embrace Christ by faith and receive his forgiveness, you are given a new identity. You are a Christian. You are no longer an addict. You are a Christian who struggles with addiction. You are no longer an angry person. You are a Christian who struggles with anger. You are no longer a greedy person. You are a Christian who struggles with greed. 

That makes all the difference because now your life is centered on Christ and your goal is to keep your eyes on Him. Yes, you will continue to struggle, but you’ll struggle like a Christian—turning away from sin and embracing Christ. Yes, you will continue to have difficulty, but you’ll walk through that difficulty like a Christian—surrounded by other Christians who are also struggling, but who are also willing to carry your burdens, and give you strength and encouragement, as you keep your eyes on Christ and follow him.