Waiting for an Answer

[Read Psalm 38]

I was kind of a crazy child growing up. There wasn’t really much I was afraid of. My mom has pictures of me jumping my dirt-bike out of gullies in the mountains. I’ve got memories of taking a cheap, Walmart snowboard and jumping off of small cliffs behind our house. I just kind of did things and didn’t think too much about them. Eventually, I decided to take up snowboarding for real. I saved up a bunch of money over the summer and bought all of my gear. Then I went to the ski resort and started trying to learn how to make it down the hill—basically falling down the hill, only to get up and fall again. 

Some of my friends had been snowboarding for longer than me, which meant they were better than me and impatient about the fact that they were stuck on the beginner slopes with me. So, once I knew how to stop and turn a little bit, they thought I was good enough to go on some harder runs. They took me on one intermediate, then to the expert run at the top of the mountain. I just went along with it. As we started the expert run, my friends gave me one warning: Do not fall off the logging road at the beginning. It’s basically a massive cliff and you will get hurt really bad if you fall off the road. Once you get past the road portion, you should be fine. Ok.

So, we started down the logging road and I wasn’t as good at stopping and turning as they thought I was. I came across a massive chunk of ice in the middle of the road that I hit and it redirected my path off the road. I panicked—remembering all of their warnings. I didn’t have time to stop or turn, so I just fell down. That wasn’t good enough either. I kept sliding off the logging road, grasping with all of my might at the snow, trying to keep myself from going off the road. It didn’t work. I couldn’t grab hold of anything. I remember the sick feeling of my feet sliding over the edge of the road, then my stomach, then the rest of my body. But then I stopped suddenly. In God’s providence, there happened to be a teeny, tiny tree—about the size of my thumb—growing out of the side of the steep drop and my snowboard caught on it. That was all that was keeping me from dropping the rest of the way down. I remember thinking, “Don’t move too quickly or you’re gonna get really hurt” and worrying that the teeny-tiny tree would give way to my weight and I would drop the rest of the way down the almost-cliff. 

That’s the picture we’re given in Psalm 38. David is weary and burdened and weak. He knew he was falling over the edge, he was kicking and screaming and grasping, and now he finds himself holding on by a thread—some teeny-tiny tree is all that is keeping him from complete and total disaster. 

We see three things that are bringing about this weariness and exhaustion in his life. 

The first thing is the discipline of God. We read, “O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath! For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.” (Psalm 38:1–2, ESV). One of the reasons David is so weak and weary is because God is disciplining him. David says that it feels like God’s arrows have sunk into him, that God’s hand is heavy upon him. He feels the wrath of God, the anger of God, the rebuke of God for the sin in his life. And that is making him feel weary and worn out and on edge. 

I don’t think we talk about this enough these days. We don’t talk about the fact that God DOES discipline people for their sins—like any good parent disciplines their children when they do something wrong. Of course, that doesn’t mean that everything bad in our life is the result of our sinfulness—we learn that from the book of Job—but it doesn’t mean that bad things are never the result of God disciplining us for our sin. Sometimes it is. Sometimes, God does discipline us and rebuke us and shoot arrows into us because of our sin, and it hurts. Sometimes we do feel God’s heavy hand of wrath and anger upon us and it is crushing—it’s exhausting. 

Now, why would God do this to us? Isn’t God loving and merciful and gracious to us? Doesn’t God forgive our sins and cleanse them as far as the east is from the west? Aren’t we told that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus? So, why does God discipline us in this way? He does it to show us a better way forward—to help us see the destructiveness of our sin and to help us turn from that destruction. We’re told this in Hebrews, “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:7–11, ESV). God disciplines us—he shoots arrows into us, places his heavy hand upon us—not to further our condemnation, but to lead us and correct us and train us in righteousness. Of course, the discipline itself is painful and not pleasant, but it will produce good fruit—it will result in us turning from our sin and walking in faith. 

The second reason David is so weak and weary is because that’s what sin does. We read, “There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin. For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,” (Psalm 38:3–5, ESV). He is weak because of his sin. He has wounds because of his sin. Those wounds stink and fester because of his sin—which is foolishness. 

The very nature of sin is death and destruction. Sin always produces that fruit. So, when we sin, we will find death and destruction coming into our lives. The very existence of sin in our lives, causes us to be weak and weary and exhausted. It drains the life out of us. It causes us to feel like there is no health in our bones. It causes us to feel like we’re drowning. So, sometimes the difficulty and struggle in our life isn’t just the result of God’s discipline, it’s simply the consequences of our own sin. 

The third reason David is so weak and weary is because his enemies are attacking him in the midst of his sin and failure and weakness. We read, “My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off. Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.” (Psalm 38:11–12, ESV). So, he’s been abandoned by those he thought he could count on, and those who hate him are working hard to take him down further. They are focused on kicking him while he’s down. They are trying to find creative ways to hurt him, ruin him, or even take his life. 

So, David feels like it’s coming at him from all sides. He’s got God coming at him in discipline for his sin. He’s got his own heart and soul attacking him because of his sin. He’s also got other people coming at him because of his sin. He feels like a man surrounded with no place to go. He’s weak and weary and worn out and feels like he’s hanging from a cliff, holding onto a teeny-tiny tree, and he hears the roots slowly being pulled out of the ground. What do you do in that moment? Have you ever been there? What should we do when we find ourselves under God's judgment, burdened by the consequences of our sin, mocked by those around us? How do we respond? 

David turns to his God. He says, “O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.” (Psalm 38:9, ESV). All of his longing is before God. All of his sighing is in front of God. When David was burdened from within, from without, and from God’s judgment, he didn’t turn away from God, he didn’t try to do it himself, he didn’t try to find other people to prop him up, he turned to his God and unburdened everything before God. David says, “I’ve laid it all out before you God. You know how I feel. You know my longings. You know my weakness. You know my sorrow. You know it all. I’ve laid it before your throne because I know you are the only one who can do anything about this. So, I’m laying it all at your feet.” 

Is this how we respond when in a similar situation? I know many people who find themselves in a situation like this and turn away from God, rather than turn to God. I’ve watched people burdened by their own sin, burdened by God’s judgment, burdened by the mocking and scorn of other people. However, then look at all those things and say, “Well, if God isn’t going to help me, then I need to help myself” or “Well, if God is fine with me struggling like this, then I don’t care about that God and don’t really want to follow him any longer.” So, they walk away and try to handle it themselves. But guess what? It doesn’t actually get any better, does it? Actually, it gets worse every time. 

You see, David knows something really important. He knows that if he turns away from God, he has nothing. If he turns away from God, he will immediately fall off the cliff he fears so much. God is the only reason he hasn’t fallen off that cliff yet. So, why would he run away from him? NO. He knows that he must run TO him. John Calvin says something powerful about this. He says, ”The reason why the greater part of men derive no profit from complaining grievously in their sorrow is, that they direct not their prayers and sighs to God.” (Calvin, 61). What should we do when we find ourselves under God's judgment, burdened by the consequences of our sin, mocked by those around us? We turn to our God and cast all of our anxieties on him. 

Then we do one more thing—something we HATE doing. We wait. We read, “But for you, O LORD, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.” (Psalm 38:15, ESV). We don’t want to wait. We want to feel better and we want to feel better RIGHT NOW! Why should we have to wait? Why can’t God fix our problems right now? Why can’t God shut the mouths of those who are attacking us? Why can’t God remove the consequences of our sin right now? Why can’t God remove his heavy hand from our shoulder right now? Why do we have to wait? 

But one of the most repeated lines throughout scripture is this concept of waiting on God. And even in the midst of David’s weakness and weariness, even in the midst of David suffering under God’s judgment, even in the midst of David struggling under the consequences of his own sin, even in the midst of attacks coming from his enemies, David says, “Still, I will wait.” How? How can he wait in the midst of all that turmoil and difficulty? How can he wait when he feels like he’s about to fall off the cliff? 

He can wait because he has confidence that it is God who will answer. He can wait because he has confidence—faith—that God has heard his prayer, heard his cries for mercy, and will answer him. God may not answer David in the exact moment he wants, but God WILL answer him. David knows that to be true. It may feel like God isn’t listening, but David knows God is listening. It may feel like God is far away, but David knows that God is very near. It may feel like God has forsaken him, but David knows that God has not forsaken him. 

That’s why David ends with this powerful statement, “Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!” (Psalm 38:22, ESV). David knows God will come to help him. David knows that God is his salvation—he’s the only one who can truly save him. David has faith in these things and that FAITH gives him strength to keep on waiting, and trusting, and holding on even when it feels like he can no longer do it. He will keep waiting for the God of his salvation to help him and to answer him, and he will keep waiting in faith. 

I imagine this is how the Jewish people felt right before Jesus was born. They had rebelled against God and found themselves under God’s judgment. They were in the midst of 400 years of silence. God had not sent a prophet for a long time. They understood that to be a judgment of God. On top of that, they were suffering from the results of their own sin. The Pharisees rose up as a way to rebuke the sinfulness of God’s people in that time—to show a purer way to live out the faith. And besides suffering under God’s judgment and as a result of their own sin, they felt like they were being crushed by the Roman government. They were mocked because of their faith, and hear things like, “Where is your God to save you now?” How were they to respond in that moment?

I think people are feeling some of this weight right now. I know of many people who could pray this psalm right now. They feel like God's arrows are stuck in them, like his hand is heavy upon them. They feel like their bodies are weak and weary, like they are about to faint. They feel like they are drowning in the sea of their own sin and failure. They feel the attacks of those around them, cutting them deeply. They feel like a deaf man that cannot truly hear and like a mute man that cannot truly speak. How do we respond?

We do three things: 

First, we rest in Jesus Christ as the answer—the one who died to free us from the weight of condemnation, to free us from our sins, and to give life to our weak and weary bodies. We always have to begin here. If we don’t begin here, we miss everything else. If you don’t know where else to turn, turn to the cross of Jesus Christ and rest there. 

Second, as we rest in the cross of Jesus Christ, we bring our plight to the God who hears us and will answer. We bring our fears and our failures and our worries to him. We lay them at his feet because we know he is the God who answers and who will not forsake us. We bring them to him because we trust him. We bring them to him because he is the God of our salvation. We know these things and hold onto them by faith. 

Then, finally, we wait in faith. We wait because we know God listens. We wait because we know God answers. We wait because we've watched God answer in the past and we know he'll answer in the future. 

We also wait, knowing that God will answer all of these concerns more fully when he comes again. In that day, he will make all things right and all things new. The wrath of God will be poured out on His enemies. The consequences of our sin will be no more because sin will die and never return to those who hold fast to Jesus Christ. 

But until that day, we rest in Jesus Christ, cast our anxieties on him, and wait, knowing that the God of our salvation will answer in his perfect timing.